She finally gets it!

Bribery. Madeline finally understands bribery. It's a huge relief because now we can get her to eat her veggies. For now she gets something sweet after she eats a decent amount. When she's older we'll use other ways. I'm just so excited that it works, it really works!

Cooperation at last.

It seems that my body really likes these drugs I'm on (except for the headaches and overall blah feeling). Hmm maybe I should say my ovaries/uterus likes these drugs. When we did IVF number 1 my body responded great and now my body is cooperating again. This is just way too easy. Seriously one itty bitty shot a day and some estrogen pills and my uterus perks right up!

I had an ultrasound today. My ovaries are cooperating by just resting and my lining is up to 9.7 and triple. They want triple and over 8. So we're doing really well. Looks like February 5th will be the day. We pray that our embryo's cooperate as well as my lining!

What's in a nickname...

Crazy Hair Madeline Claire...




Need I say more?

Madeline pictures

I've been neglecting blogging about the wonderful Madeline. Here are some pictures to, hopefully, tide you over until a real post.

Here she is last Sunday before church. I thought she looked so adorable in this oufit!



Here she is in an outfit that grandma Olson got in Pennsylvania dutch country last fall.





Here is Madeline playing in the snow last Saturday. She stayed in that sled the entire time Eric was shoveling.

Day's like today...

I'm glad I married someone bigger then me! I feel bloated and sore today. So I raided Eric's closet. I won't win fashionista of the year but I'm comfy! I'm wearing my Greenbay Packers socks, velour yoga pants, and Eric's 49er t-shirt. Yep I don't match but I'm a lot comfier then if I was wearing the jeans I originally put on.

So, take not all you single ladies out there in blog land, find a guy larger then yourself!

Is this really happening?

So I've been on my meds for 11 days now. Yesterday was my last birth control pill. I continue with the baby aspirin, vitamins and luron shots for at least another 8 days. This may seem like a lot to you guys. BUT I don't feel like we're doing anything. I haven't stepped foot into the doctor's office except to sign consents for the procedure. I don't know if I'm in denial or what but it just doesn't seem like this is all happening. Life seems way too normal right now.

Now lets talk side affects. Really I don't have any except for this annoying twitching eye. Seriously, of all the things that I anticipated happening a small annoyance of a twitching eye was not one of them. I do seem a bit more tired and slightly less tolerant of (there's just no way to say this nicely) morons, but that could just be my normal personality too. You'll have to ask Eric about that one ;)

Now lets talk consents. I don't mind signing consents at all. I mean we're paying thousands of dollars to do this so you'd think we consented but whatever. I think that EVERY one who wants to become a parent should sign a consent. Seriously, there should be some way to put some sort of alarm on a person that goes off before baby making. At that time the prospective parents would have to read a 4 page document about having to care for the baby ect. They should have to choose what happens to the child in case someone dies or a divorce occurs. I bet that would make people think twice about becoming parents.

Yep, when we did our IVF for Madeline we had to decide right then and there what to do with our left over embryo's. We already knew we would freeze them. BUT it didn't stop there. We had to decide what would then happen to them if we got a divorce or someone died. I mean really who wants to think about a divorce or DYING when you're trying so hard to have a baby. There went the last illusion of normal conception. There is definitely nothing romantic about infertility and the legal department of the doctor's office makes sure of that!

Cheese

"What do you want for breakfast, Madeline?" "CHEESE" said very excitedly. "How about some pancakes?" "uh huh". "Madeline, what do you want for lunch?" "CHEESE!!!!!" said with a huge smile. "How about some fish sticks?" "ok" "Madeline, it's almost time for supper, what would you like?" Ever the optimist, I hear "CHEESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" " How about some chicken?" "uh huh and papples". She loves her some McD's "papples". Does everyone see a pattern here? Yep she asks for cheese for breakfast, lunch, dinner and snack. Although, once in a while she'll request "nandy" (candy, darn that chocolate advent calendar!)

I guess I shouldn't be all that surprised since she is Dutch and has a mother that loves cheese also.

Ah sleep! :)

Many of you know that we have had major problems with Madeline and sleep. The first sign that she is sick or is even thinking about getting sick she stops sleeping. We've tried everything including letting her scream in her crib for hours until she throws up. I've thrown many a sheet into the wash at midnight. She seems to need the comfort of sleeping with mom and dad when she's sick. So honestly we gave up. We need sleep too.

So we got quite the pleasant surprise when on Tuesday night she slept in her crib from 7:30 to 6:30 am. (yes I woke up at 4am worried). She MUST be feeling better. We wondered if we'd get a repeat performance last night. We DID, except this time she slept til 7am. WOW! Get this girl some candy! Hey I'm not above rewards (aka bribery) I hope she keeps it up! We just need to pray for health.

In other Madeline news she is getting the hang of going on the potty. She actually does it on purpose now and understands getting rewards. She loves her stickers. :) She even managed to go at her grandparents the other day on a regular toilet. Soon I'll try sticking her in underwear and see how that goes. I know she'll pee in them but at least she'll know when she's wet that way. Don't worry we have enough clothes to change her 5 times a day if need be.

My meds have arrived!

I'm a scrapbooker. I like to document every stage and activity of our lives. So it's only fitting that when my medication arrived today I took a picture. I received 4 different medications: Lupron, aspirin, estrace, and crinone. I also got needles and a sharps container. Oh joy! I already have (and am taking) the birth control pills. Those were free (haha at least something is free). So without further ado the meds...

There is actually more of the crinone (progesterone gel) but I didn't feel like stacking it all up.

These are the meds I took for Madeline:

There are quite a few more meds there. I'm sure it's hard to see as that's not my original picture. For Madeline I was on Gonal F (shots), HCG (shots), aspirin, a trigger shot, PIO (10 weeks of shots) and crinone. There may have been more I blocked out.

If you want to get technical (and if this works) I was on BOTH of those pictures of medications for the baby yet to be growing inside me. I hesitate to say yet to be conceived because in my mind the baby was conceived 2.5 years ago. The two embryo's that are on ice are 6 days after conception already. So when they are put back in their rightful home I will already be 3 weeks pregnant. It's also strange to think that if those embryo's were put back in instead of Madeline's embryo she would still be on ice and we've have a different first born. Weird.Very.Weird!

I'm sure my thoughts sound strange to a lot of you. Just you wait! If you think I sound crazy now, check in after I start on the drugs. You haven't seen crazy until you've seen me on drugs!

November looks like a good month.

So it starts. EEK! I'm a mix of excitement and anxiety. I long for the ease of conceiving without planning. If you don't plan you don't get anxious about it! Ah well, that is not the case for us and never has been. I should be used to it but alas I'm not. Anyway I start birth control today. WHAT?! Yes, birth control bills are an infertiles worst nightmare. I'm trying to GET pregnant NOT prevent it. It is, however, a necessary evil in this case. It's ok. I'm not surprised by it. 3.5 years ago I would have broke down and cried if I was told I needed to be on birth control when I was trying so desperately to get pregnant. I'm glad I'm not in that place anymore!

I will be on birth control for 10 days. 5 days from now the dreaded Lupron will start . Tomorrow Eric and I will go into the doc and sign consents for them to thaw our precious embryo's. I'm very anxious to get them back inside of me, "home" if you will. I will be on Lupron for quite some time. Sometime after the 23rd I will start estrogen pills and then start to taper off the Lupron. Then on a Sunday in February I will start progesteron suppositories. I did find out some GOOD NEWS today though. As of THIS year (meaning starting 5 days ago) they have stopped using the progesterone injections. WOOHOO! Another good reason to have waited til now to do this. For those that don't know Progesteron injections (from now on referred to as PIO) are awful, HORRIBLE butt shots. They HURT!!!!! I was on them for about 10 weeks with Madeline. My rear was sore. It hurt to sit. It hurst to lay on my side. It plain ole SUCKED! So I am very glad that I won't have to suffer with that again. BUT I am also in the mindset of "if it ain't broke don't fix it". PIO worked with Madeline so I am a tiny bit nervous about not using it. I have found another reason to be thankful for the pregnancy we lost in July though. I KNOW that my body makes enough progesterone to support a baby. So through the baby that we lost God showed us that my body likes to be pregnant AND can hormonally support a pregnancy. So that eases my mind a bit. Thank you God!

So why, you may ask, does November look like a good month? Well, it seems that our new baby (God willing) will be due in VERY early November.

Public Service Announcement.

In the coming weeks I will be taking some drugs that are known to cause craziness in the sanest person. I was not on all of these medications for Madeline's conception so I do not know how I will react to them. BUT I am told that the medications I took with our IVF for Madeline made me a bit moody. I have heard that one particular drug, Lupron, is a nasty, nasty little fellow.

So I apologize now if I bite your head off for what, in a normal sane person, would be nothing to get upset over or if I start to sob for an extremely silly reason (for example last time I broke down in tears because my family didn't want pizza but I did).

Don't worry I will be "normal" again at some point.

New Years resolution

I don't usually make a new years resolution, but this year I'm going to. I resolve to do family devotions every night after dinner! This is something that we were really faithful with before Madeline was born. Since her birth we've slacked off because it was easier. We're now at a point where she won't sit still to do them. This is going to be a challenge but one we need to take on. Don't get me wrong Madeline does get the Bible read to her. In fact it's one of her favorite books but Eric and I are not being good examples for her at the moment. She needs to learn the discipline of sitting, listening, and discussing of God's Word.

I realized just how neglectful we've been at doing this while we were in South Dakota for Christmas. Every time we'd do family devotions she was naughty, talking and screaming through them. On Christmas day we took her into church because there was no nursery. At first she did well. She loved the songs and clapped and yelled YAY after each one Then it was prayer time. As soon as we closed our eyes she yelled UH OH! Then proceeded to yell, "momma, daddy, papa, nana, Kum, RIS". I think uncle Chris chuckled during his prayer. This is the point we escorted her out of church.

You see parenting is not easy but we've been taking the easy way out of this one. That will change in 2009!

Christmas 2008

This year we drove all the way to South Dakota to spend Christmas with my sister and brother-in-law. The week is a blur of vomiting and sleeplessness. Madeline was sick. She seemed to enjoy Christmas for the most part and loved seeing her auntie Kum(kim) and uncle Ris (Chris) again. Here is our pictorial tribute to Christmas 2009.


This is our Santa do-over picture. She is not happy because she had to wait in line ;) This time she went right up to him and hopped on his lap. :)



A new Wynstra family picture.



Cookie decorating.




Opening stockings before church.




A little pre-present snack. She loved to just lick the dip off of the pretzel.









I think my favorite memory from this year was the carolers that showed up at my sister's door on Christmas Eve. I had just been telling Eric that it didn't quite feel like Christmas. It certainly did after that!