Peace

I thought I'd give a little update on how I'm doing with the baby stuff. I really appreciate all of the prayers everyone has said on my behalf. I was unable to pray for a few weeks after it happened. I literally could not do it. I'd close my eyes and try but instead the flood of tears would start. Knowing that everyone was praying for me helped me tremendously! Up until this point when I'd hear things like "when you can't do anything else for someone, just pray for them" I thought yeah whatever, that may make ME feel better, but I don't see how that will really help the other person. It really does help. God worked through everyone's prayers.

I feel a true sense of peace now. I'm probably more at peace now then I have been in quite a long time. I have finally been able to give this situation to God fully. I realize now that I had been carrying around this huge burden for 4 years. It's God's now. I feel light and hopeful once again. I delight in seeing other people's beautiful babies- even the ones who were conceived and arrived without effort!

I would still love to have another child but am truly content with having our one beautiful little girl.

The angel we lost this past summer was due this week. I thought it would be a lot harder then it has been. God has taken that pain from me also. Instead of a heart filled with sorrow and anger I am filled with joy, peace, and hope.

God's love is truly Amazing!